aoiyoru on DeviantArthttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/https://www.deviantart.com/aoiyoru/art/B-Day-Gift-4-my-cousin-135710299aoiyoru

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B-Day Gift 4 my cousin

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This is a present I finished for my cousin last week. It was very quick work (started Friday afternoon and finished Saturday late) because I had her birthday party as a deadline. I really would like to color this!! XD It would be fun to make it all shiny and cutsey. I just got to find time D: I feel bad for rushing it, so i want to give my cousin one sweet color copy.

I tryed the critique option, because Elleron77 [link] , one of the awesomest people on this site, gifted me a subscription. Please visit his page and show him much love, especially for the sweet manga he's begun :D

Also, my cousin turned 11! She's entering middle school, so i felt like this birthday was special. Your life really begins to shape up in middle school. I want her to know i've got her back :)
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Comments17
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Elleron77's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

Ok, the first thing that catches my eye are the more solid black lines that give depth to the picture. the way happy B-Day is placed makes it necessary to scan over the whole picture when you read it. i like the flow and calmness about the drawing. that is appealing to the eye. the anatomy is good and i want to eat the cake (lol) the facial expression is good but it makes me do a double take and look closer. the angle of the head, compared to the way the eyes are drawn and the mouth is empty confuses my senses for a minute. i think it is her right eye that is at an angle that throws it off a bit. i think it would help to put one more line through the mouth and shade that to give it depth and to make the line of the top of the nose the same line as the inside line of her right eye. like i did here with sora's eye and nose. [link]
overall it is a very good drawing. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" />